Remaining Silent
by ShockingReality
Summary: Set after Countrycide. The team are all in shock after what they saw and experienced.
1. Silence

DISCLAIMER: None of it is mine. Characters, places, etc, and the scene in Chapter 3 all belong to the BBC.

Once the five of them had loaded into the car, they sat in silence for a large portion of the journey. Jack was driving, being the only person who hadn't been there when the others were caught and almost forced to watch Ianto being killed in front of them. The shock was a little too much for anyone else to even consider it.

Ianto himself was sat in the passenger's seat, his elbow resting on the side, his eyes gazing out at the evening sky. He was troubled, that much was clear by his expression.

Gwen was sat behind him, her hand wrapped protectively around her side and over the gunshot wound. Her head was rested on Owen's shoulder, her eyes partially closed, attempting the block out the pain of her side. She had told the medics from the ambulances to get screwed and refused to let them look at the wound – a decision she was beginning to regret.

Owen kept glancing at Gwen, unable to keep the slight worry from his features. When they'd driven about half way home, he'd slipped his arm around her, letting her rest against him. The action had not gone unnoticed by any of the others, but everyone remained silent.

Toshiko was sat beside Owen, curled up as best she could in the car seat, her head resting back against the headrest and her eyes closed; her deep breathing signalling sleep. A slight frown was on her features, though, and she shifted every now and then.

When they'd almost reached the hub, Jack told Owen to wake Tosh; which he did, gently shaking her shoulder. She woke with a slight startle at his touch, and sat up to listen to what Jack had to say. Gwen too fully opened her eyes, but didn't shift her position.

"I'm not expecting you back in tomorrow. Have a couple of days rest, yeah?" Pausing as each of them murmured a response, he spoke again; "We'll go back to the hub now, get everyone cleaned up. Don't worry about getting home… I'll drop you off. Don't want any of you driving." His reason was unspoken but they all knew.

Pulling the SUV into its usual spot, he opened the door and moved to help Toshiko out. Gwen opened her door, wincing as the movements caused pain to shoot through her side. But she gritted her teeth and bore it, slowly climbing out, leaning onto the car door as she did so. Ianto offered his hand to help her, and she accepted it, slowly using it to help move herself out of the way for Owen to climb out and shut the door. Then he wrapped his arm around her and helped her into the hub and to the medical room.

With Toshiko's help, Gwen removed her coat and carefully took off her shirt. The dried blood had stuck it to her skin, and she curled her hands into fists and closed her eyes as Toshiko carefully peeled it away. There was no point in pretending it didn't hurt.

Once the shirt was off, she laid down on the medical table, allowing Owen to clean and re-dress the wound, giving her some painkillers as he did so. While he worked, he remained silent and serious, his eyes not once wandering from the bloody mess before him. Tosh had left to change and dress into some clean clothes that were always kept for just this reason; clothes with blood stains never went down well if someone saw you.

Having finished dressing the wound, Owen's eyes strayed and he took in her toned stomach and bust before raising his eyes to meet hers. He gave her his usual cocky grin, and she smiled back, taking his offered hand to swing round and get down from the table. Tosh brought her another shirt, which she quickly slipped over her head before leaving to wash her face and hands.

Owen watched her leave before doing the same.

---

A little while later, everyone piled back into the SUV, cleaned up and looking a little less gruesome than before. The seating arrangement was the same as before; Owen and Gwen sat close, but this time Owen's arms remained by his sides and Gwen's head was rested against the headrest. The others saw the glances they shared, but everyone remained silent.

Jack drove to Toshiko's first, dropping her out right outside her house. He watched her enter and shut the door, giving a little wave goodbye, before he drove away. Next was Gwen's; Ianto and Jack both noticed how she brushed against Owen just a little, both noticed the silent stare they shared before she shut the door and walked away.

Next was Owen; he quickly departed, muttering a quick goodbye to Jack and Ianto before he jogged to the door and let himself in.

Jack had to ask Ianto where he lived, then; before now he's just been the secretary; the one who, to put it in Ianto's own words, just cleaned up the shit; no questions asked. But today he was part of the team, and Jack knows that it will haunt him for longer than he'll let on.

There was silence as he drove to Ianto's flat, and Jack realised how little they had talked since setting off back from the countryside. Eyes were telling more than words ever could. Amazement that there had been no aliens after all; shock at the horror, at the sheer disgust that human beings were capable of such terror.

With a sigh, Jack watched Ianto leave, entering the block of flats and beginning his climb up the stairs. Then he turned the SUV around and started his drive back to the hub, where a long night of silence and lonely sleeplessness awaited him.


	2. Toshiko Sato

A/N: Thanks for the reviews so far guys! Here's chapter two :)

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Tosh entered her flat, waving at the Torchwood SUV before she shut the door and turned to lean her back against the hard wood, closing her eyes and tipping her head back. It had been a long, tiring day, but she found she didn't want to go to bed just yet. Not after what she'd seen today; she doubted the images would let her.

Making her way to the spacious kitchen, her bag was thrown on the table before she moved to the fridge. She opened it, and just for a moment, just a second, she thought she saw bags piled up on the shelves, tied at the ends and pooled with blood and bits of flesh. But then it was gone, and she was left shivering in the cold that the fridge emitted with a gentle hum. Her hands gripped the sides and she closed her eyes, breathing heavily for a few seconds before she recovered enough to look into the fridge and find (quite understandably) that everything looked disgusting.

She shut the door a little harder than necessary, the sound echoing around the empty kitchen. With nothing to do, Tosh went and changed into long pyjamas and a big fluffy dressing gown. Feeling a little better, she padded into the kitchen in her pink slippers and made a mug of hot chocolate, taking it to the sofa and sitting down. She picked up the remote and flicked through the channels but there was nothing interesting on. She left it on some cheesy comedy, just to have talking and laughing in the background, before she slipped into a thoughtful reverie, her mug of chocolate hugged into the palms of her hands.

With a thought, Tosh put her mug down on the side to go back to the kitchen and root for her phone in her bag. After finding it, she went and sat back on the sofa, curling her feet up next to her. She just wanted to hear the sound of someone's voice. Anyone's voice.

Scrolling through the contacts, Tosh wondered who would understand. Owen? She let out a breath at his name. No. Gwen. No. Jack? She scrolled to his name and her finger paused before she shook her head. That would just be weird; she hardly knew a thing about him. He was her boss.

Ianto.

She had found his name and the phone was ringing before she could properly register what she was doing, but the phone was picked up before she could back out.

"Hello?" The familiar voice, his welsh accent more comforting than he could possibly imagine.

"Hi, Ianto. It's Tosh." Just to be speaking to someone made her feel relaxed, and she stretched her hand out to pick up the mug of not-so-hot chocolate and take a long sip.

"Sleep not feeling friendly tonight?" She looked at the clock hung on her wall, and found with surprise that it was almost midnight. Time had flown and she'd hardly done anything, it seemed.

"I daren't try, to be honest. Have I woken you?"

"No." Pause. "How are you feeling?"

"I… I've been better. What about you?" She winced slightly, and quickly spoke again. "I'm sorry. Stupid question."

"It's alright."

Tosh was silent for a short while. "I'm sorry if I bothered you. By calling. I just... it's stupid, really, but I just wanted to hear someone's voice and I thought -"

Ianto cut her off, sounding a little surprised. "You don't need to apologise, Tosh."

She paused, and then smiled, even though he couldn't see it. "Thanks."

"What are you going to do tomorrow, then? No work, nothing to do."

"I have no idea. I might just go back in anyway. I have nothing better to do. What about you?"

"I don't know… someone's got to clean up after Jack. If I leave him to his own devices, the Hub might be up in flames by the time we get back."

Tosh managed a laugh. "I might see if anyone fancies a drink tomorrow night. Don't want to be alone all evening."

"I'm up for it. Ask the others as well."

"I will. Guess I'll be going now, it's getting late. I should try get some sleep."

"Me too. Bye."

"Bye, Ianto."

The phone went dead and she put it down, switching off the TV. She left her mug on the side and went quietly to her bedroom, hanging the dressing gown up on the back of the door and hoping sleep would claim her quickly and dreamlessly.


	3. Gwen Cooper

Gwen sat with Rhys, her eyes on the television but not paying any attention to the screen. The only images in her mind were of blood, of bodies and of that man's sickly smile as he told her that it made him happy. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Turning to watch Rhys, she saw how glued in he was to the television and the program. He was so… normal.

Standing up, Gwen faked a wide smile. "I'm just going out, alright? It's a work thing."

She saw his face fall. She knew it was her fault.

But she couldn't stay here.

"Sorry…" She whispered gently, grabbing a coat and walking out before he could reply.

Gwen walked for quite a long time, taking the longest route she could think of. She should turn back; she should go back to Rhys and tell him everything. He wouldn't turn her away; she knew he wouldn't.

But she couldn't do that to him; to his normal life.

Gwen found herself in front of Owen's flat, ringing the bell that echoed throughout. This was wrong. She shouldn't be here… but she couldn't keep away. Owen opened the door, looking tired and restless; his eyes widened in slight surprise as he saw who it was, however, and he opened the door to let her in.

She should walk away.

But she doesn't.

She entered his flat, which smelled just like _him_, and took in her surroundings. She noticed that he was watching her and removed her coat, which he took and hung on a hook on the wall, alongside his own leather one that she saw so often. He then approached, stopping with his face just inches from hers, raising a hand to touch the side of her face for a just a moment.

And Gwen knows, in that moment, she can't walk away.

She tipped her head towards Owen's, pressing her lips to his just gently; it is nothing like the rough, hard kiss they shared before. Owen pressed her back and she hit the wall, her side stinging just slightly. Owen must have noticed because he stopped, looking concerned.

"It's nothing." The first thing she'd said to him since coming to his house, but it seemed better that way; the company was enough, his company was what she needed. She kissed him hard and he returned it, his hands sliding up inside her shirt. One of Gwen's hands is on the back of his neck, pressing his head to hers; the other around his back, pressing his body against hers.

He knew what she needed, and he pulled away, taking her hand and pulling her towards the room which she assumed was his bedroom.

---

They fell asleep a tangle of limbs, exhausted. Owen had been right; they were amazing together. It was with this thought that she fell into a deep slumber, wrapped in his protective arms.

It was few hours later that Gwen startled awake with a cry, scrambling from the bed in such a way that she was surprised Owen managed to stay asleep. She breathed heavily a few times, attempting to remove the terrifying pictures that still haunted her from the day before from her mind. She hunted through the stray clothes and found the shirt Owen had been wearing, putting it on and doing up a couple of buttons.

She put her head in her hands, unaware of Owen sitting up in bed behind, watching as she walked to the window. Watching people with their _normal_ lives, doing whatever normal things they did. She couldn't remember what it was like to be normal anymore.

"I had a good job before this. I thought in a year or two perhaps a baby, I knew Rhys would be a good dad and I could try for desk sergeant - and well... it was all slotting into place." She was talking to herself, almost, to calm herself down. Owen was awake now; she could see his reflection in the glass, concern lining his face as he watched her.

"And then I met you lot." Words spoken with such bitterness and sorrow. Owen almost stood, almost climbed out, almost came to comfort her, but he was staring, watching, wincing at the bitterness with which she spoke.

"All these things… all these things, they're changing me - changing how I see the world." She paused, closing her eyes, breathing.

"And I can't share them with _anyone_." It hit her like a tonne of bricks when she said it, almost as if her realisation was only then and there. She barely registered Owen climbing out of bed, coming up behind her.

"You can now." Three words. Three words that made her melt and shiver at the same time. She had somebody – somebody who shared the pain, the torment, the terror. She turned her face to his, catching his lips and spinning in his arms, kissing him with a hunger.

Just begging him to take away the pain.

He gladly complied.


	4. Jack Harkness

Jack drove back to the hub in a depressed silence, the hum of the SUV engine too loud in his ears. He parked it up quickly and had to straighten it up, cursing to himself as he did so. He slammed the door and locked up the vehicle, making his way into the hub and ditching the keys on Ianto's desk as he went by.

It was so quiet compared to the footsteps and gentle mumbles from before; the only noises now being his own breathing and his footsteps that seemed all too loud as he made his way to his office. He sat down, resting his feet on the desk and sighing. He could tell already that it was going to be a long night.

He sat like that for a while before swinging his feet down. He opened the top draw of his desk, pulling out an A4 sized case that was locked. He felt around the back of the drawer for a minute before withdrawing his hand with the key in his fingers; not exactly a well thought out hiding place, but he had yet for someone to get into it.

He clicked the lock open and opened the case with care. Inside were newspaper clipping, bad resolution photos that looked as if they had been printed from CCTV camera stills, and a Polaroid photo. He pulled everything out and set it on his desk, flicking through the papers with his fingers, his eyes scanning over each image and each newspaper clipping.

All the images had something in common; the older ones, of a man dressed in a leather jacket with sharp eyes, accompanied by a blonde girl who looked no older than nineteen or twenty. Jack was in some of the pictures, but not all. Most he'd pulled from CCTV stills of when the group had been on earth, and the Polaroid was of the three of them pulling faces at the camera. His colleagues would probably kill to see this, he thought with a sigh. They would wonder what happened to that Jack though, the one who flirted with everything in sight and pulled faces at cameras. He shook his head, placing all of those images back into the case and looked at the very few things there were left - a newspaper report on the sycorax invasion at Christmas, a small announcement by a local school somewhere about their new physics teacher, John Smith, and a picture of said teacher.

On the top of the pile was a copy of the list of the dead from the battle of canary wharf. One name in particular was highlighted, but Jack didn't need the highlighter for him to pick out the name. Rose Tyler. Missing; presumed dead. The man from the later pictures; tall, with brown hair, a long brown trench coat and pinstriped suit had been inside Torchwood One the day of the battle with Rose by his side and she'd not come out.

Jack suddenly grabbed all the remaining papers and shoved them back into the case, the careful way he'd moved the others having vanished. He locked it up and shoved it back in the door, which he slammed shut. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair. He looked at those pictures almost every night, but each time it was like new anger, new emotions. He sought peace, he sought answers, but he never got any.

Moving to another drawer on the other side, Jack pulled out a large bottle of a swirling green liquid which he popped open, putting the bottle to his lips and drinking deeply. One he'd drunk enough, he placed the bottle down on the desk with a dull thump, shaking his head and gasping at the strong taste. It never mattered what he drunk, how much… there was nothing that could ease the pain for Jack. Even when things got so bad, there was nothing he could do but traipse along on his journey of life; because that was the only choice that he had.

He thought back to the days events. He knew it had unsettled the others deeply; he'd not been there for a lot of what they'd seen, but he'd seen the remnants and just that was enough to make even him turn away. He felt sick for a moment, remembering the body Gwen had found on the house. Shaking his head, Jack took another deep drink from the bottle.

It was going to be a very, very long night.


	5. Ianto Jones

A/N - Check me out with the updates. This is to make up for taking so long with the last one.

Ianto was HARD to write. I don't particularly _like _him anyway, so writing him was hard... lol!

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Ianto said his goodbyes to Tosh before putting the phone down on his bedside table. He'd been laid on bed at least two hours, now, and had yet to close his eyes and actually _attempt _to get to sleep. He had a book in front of him, but he wasn't really paying attention to the words as his eyes scanned over. He read one paragraph four times before realising that he'd reread it, and even then couldn't remember the content of the paragraph.

He sighed and abandoned his attempt to read, lodging a bookmark into the page before closing the book and placing it on his bedside table. Everything was organised; the book sat on the edge, his phone next to it, and an alarm clock in the corner next to a lamp. Tomorrow's suit was folded neatly over a chair, today's clothes were nowhere to be seen, for they were already in the wash basket.

The one thing that Ianto had made sure remained constant. It was the same in the hub; despite the fact it was like an underground cave, nobody saw it but the team, he made sure everything went where it was supposed to, papers were filed neatly, the archive kept orderly. He worked behind the scenes, making sure everything was right and correct. He knew he was needed - a lot - but sometimes it felt like he was ignored, not counted as one of the team because he didn't work the same way they did.

Today, though, he'd seen the other side. The way they worked, and he'd been part of it. Part of the team.

And he hated it.

The way they'd all been so… comfortable. It probably wasn't the right word, but it was the only one he could think of. Owen hadn't stopped to feel sorry for the body in the wood; he'd quickly got to work, prodding and poking with his instruments. Tosh got on with trying to escape quickly, just… got on with the present. She didn't stop and think about the blood, the body parts. Gwen wasn't as bad as the others; it affected her. She wanted to know why. But she was still new, compared to them; give her a few months, and Ianto knew already that she wouldn't be quite the same anymore. It wouldn't show much, but she would change. And Jack, who'd saved the day, had jumped out the tractor and just fired. It was the look on Jack's face that had scared him more than anything. As if it didn't matter. They were only lives.

Ianto shook his head in a disturbed way. He couldn't get the thoughts that he'd almost died out of his mind, either. He raised a hand to feel his fingers across the soft skin of his neck; another movement, any pressure, and he'd have been split open, his blood spurting across the floor. All because of Torchwood. He could have a different job, a safer job; he could get it quite easily.

Yet he kept on going back. Ianto's eyes looked to the folded suit on his chair, waiting for morning to come when he'd slip it on and make his way to work, despite being told to have time off. He loved his job and he hated it. And because of that, he couldn't leave. It was his life now, the path he'd chosen.

Ianto slumped down and laid his head against the pillow. Some things, he just shouldn't think about.

---

Sitting upright, the Welshman pressed his fists into his eyes before opening them slowly. His room, his bed. Perfectly safe.

He pulled the cover from over his body, shivering slightly as the cold air hit him. A glance at the clock told him he'd only been asleep three hours. So he padded to the cupboard, opening it and locating the sleeping pills somewhere near the front.

He always kept a supply at the ready. Not that he usually needed them; it was just best to be prepared.

Gulping down two pills, he closed the cupboard and went back to his bed, curling up under the still warm covers and awaiting the bliss of a dreamless sleep. No blood, no bits of bodies - quite plainly; sweet nothing.

And Ianto awaited it eagerly.


	6. Owen Harper

A/N - Just want to say a huge thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed. I've had fun writing this and I hope you've enjoyed it!

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Owen awoke the next morning with a start, visions of yesterday haunting him, following his escape into consciousness. He tried to shake away his feelings of shock and unease that still remained from the things he'd seen, and erected his barrier of arrogance and sarcasm that would, no doubt, get him through the day as it had every other.

Coming into realisation of his surroundings, he realised he had his arms around Gwen's small frame. He lay there a few moments, breathing in the scent of her and allowing the morning sunlight glinting through his windows to help him wake up fully. Yawning, he managed to untangle himself from Gwen , climb out of bed and locate a pair of boxers and some clean jeans.

Seeing she was still asleep, he went through to the kitchen to make two cups of coffee, which he carried back through to the bedroom. Gwen was awake by the time he returned – just - blearily sitting up and pulling the covers up with her. She smiled at him and took the coffee without word, sipping it gratefully. Owen sat on the edge of the bed until he'd finished his and found a long sleeved t-shirt to wear, pulling it on as he went out.

Jack had said have a couple of days rest, but he'd said that before; they rarely did. His excuse was usually that he would take the rest days when he needed or wanted them – but that wasn't the truth. He would just feel lost at home, with nothing to do all day. Torchwood was his life now, as he'd come to accept. Besides which, he found that the possibility of remaining alone for the rest of the day scared him more than he would ever let on.

Gwen soon came through, dressed in her clothes that she'd come to his in yesterday. It wasn't like she'd been wearing them for long, anyway.

"Do you want breakfast, or just grab something at the hub?" He asked, turning to her.

"Might as well get something at the hub." She replied with a shrug, picking up her jacket from where it was thrown over a chair. She checked her that her phone was still in the pocket, ignored the three missed calls on the screen and nodded that she was ready.

Upon reaching the hub, Owen and Gwen walked in separately. Gwen went on ahead, and Owen stayed a few moments locking his car and just waiting before he followed. Ianto and Tosh were already there, and Gwen was hanging her jacket over the back of her chair. She glanced up as he walked past, and gave him the tiniest of smiles, her eyes reflecting her thanks for last night. She had needed him, and he had needed her. They had given it their all and Owen had been right – they had been amazing.

Jack glanced up his way as he walked to his desk and their eyes locked for just a moment before Owen turned away and Jack looked back to his work. Walking past Tosh, he could see the bags under her eyes that she had attempted to disguise with make-up, but did not comment as he went and sat down at his desk.

On the outside, it was just another day for the team.


End file.
